Guys, I'm writing this one to you. You've worked all day, you're tired, and when you come home all you want is for your loving wife to be sweet and the house to be quiet. You want a little romance, a little relaxation, and some time to yourself.
But as soon as you walk in the door, this harried frumpy woman wearing stained up pajama pants with her hair pulled into a ponytail thrusts a screaming baby into your arms and you realize that any hope of spending some quality time with this shell that used to be your sexy mama depends completely on whether or not the two of you can work together to get the rotten munchkins in bed before you both collapse from exhaustion.
Then, after supper and baths and calming the kids down, the two of you retire to the office where you get on YouTube and she hops on Facebook... where the two of you will end up staying until you're both yawning and deciding to go pass out - and then you realize that you haven't even said more than two sentences to each other in the last hour.
I get it. I do. My fiance and I have been together for four years now. We have two kids together. I can count the times we've held hands in the last year with the Cheerios dropped under the highchair... And our little piggie doesn't let many escape the clutches of her grubby little paws.
You see, when you've been with someone for years, you get comfortable with them. Then you bring children into the equation, and you're lucky if you even sleep in the same bed. Case in point? I sleep on the couch near the baby's crib, and he sleeps in the bedroom. Late night crying, his snoring, midnight bottles, back pain... so many things come with being a parent that get in the way of romance.
And I'm not talking about sex. Sure, that tends to disappear after you have kids too, but feeling appreciated every once in a while is just as important. To feel wanted and needed means so much more than just existing, which is what every couple seems to fall into after their relationship starts to get stagnant.
So how can you get out of the parent rut and feel like an actual couple again? Take the time to treat each other the way you want to be treated. I'm talking a 50/50 thing here, but really - the last thing on your wife's mind when she's cleaning spit-up out of her hair is a little romance. So men, take the initiative.
Run a bath for your woman. Give her a massage. Let her know you think she's beautiful. You don't have to spend a fortune to let her know you care, and I promise - that little bit of effort will make her realize that she has been overly busy with kids, life, and chores, and she will make it up to you.
Be sweet. Even if it's not in your nature. When you're on your lunch break at work, send her a text to let her know you're thinking about her. If she cooks a great meal, clean the table and rinse the dishes. Heck, if you're feeling spunky, you could wash those dishes for her too.
I know you've worked all day, but help out with the kids when you get home. Sure, your job is manual labor and all she's done is sit at home with the kids - how hard can that be? Yeah, buddy... you try it sometime. The stress from a toddler's tantrums and a baby's earache will make you feel like tearing your hair out too. Help make the evening go a little smoother for her by splitting up the baby duties and then you'll both have more time to relax and spend time together when they're in bed.
You are with this woman because you fell in love with her. Remind yourself of that, and then take the time to remind her. You wont be sorry.
