Do Something About Child Abuse

This post may come out offensive to some.  There is some graphic details of abuse, physical and emotional. If that isn't something you can read, please note that this post may not be for you.

I am a stupid, worthless wh*re.  At least that's what I was told at least once a week between the ages of ten and eighteen.  I couldn't do anything right, I broke everything I touched, and the only reason I was allowed to live in that house was because my father didn't want me.

I read so much today about how bad bullying is, and how we need to stop it.  Kids are being called names, being pushed around, and losing their self-esteem at school.  Yeah, but what about what's going on at home? Why isn't there more talk about child abuse and neglect?  Those are so much more detrimental to children than some bully taking their lunch money.

Don't get me wrong, bullying is bad and proactive steps should be taken to prevent and punish bullying.  But what about the bullies that are in the home, pushing the child around before they even get on the bus in the morning?

source: technorati

Child abuse is defined as “Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation; or an act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm.” (According to the CAPTA)  So basically - anything done (or not done) by a caregiver that results in physical or mental harm is considered child abuse and/or neglect.

I was emotionally abused.  Suck it up, buttercup. Right?  No.  A child being told constantly that they aren't worth the dirt under their fingernails, told that they're stupid,  that life would be better if they weren't there... Screaming all the time about their mom being a s*ut and that they should just shoot her in the head... Throwing and breaking things because something didn't go their way... Adult temper tantrums basically.  No child should ever have to experience that.

Did it affect me?  You're damn right it did.  I have severe anxiety and social phobia, low self-esteem, and depression.  Ok, so I'm crazy.  When I was 14, I started cutting myself.  Not as an attention-getting tactic - no one knew until I cut my arm too deep and had to ask my mom to help me stop the bleeding when I was 16 years old.  No, I cut as a way to have control over at least one thing in my life.    When the screaming and yelling was going on, my body all but shut down and I couldn't do anything but hide in a corner and try to breathe.  I wasn't always the target - but I was the step-child, so I was the unwanted one.

We all make choices in life, and sometimes a choice leads to bringing a child into this world.  A child is a miracle, a bundle of love that came from your own womb or from your heart in the case of adoption.  There is no reason whatsoever to treat that child badly.  If you can't love a child the way they were meant to be loved, give them to someone who will.  Seriously.

I am who I am because of what I went through as a child.  I am proud of myself for being a loving mother.   I don't do drugs, I don't neglect my children, and I would never EVER put a man before my children.  I make sure they are clean, fed, taken care of - even when we are struggling financially.  I have the hardest time understanding why my mother let my step-father act the way he did.  He is an addict.  That doesn't excuse my mother for letting him abuse her children.  It doesn't give him the right to take his withdrawal or high out on his family.  The one that he chose to join, the one that he promised to love and cherish.

I have a step-daughter.  And there are days when I don't even want to deal with her because of her attitude towards me because I'm not her mom.  But I would NEVER take my frustration out on her.  I would never make her feel insignificant and unwanted because I have a hard time dealing with the emotion that comes from taking care of someone else's child.  What goes on inside my head does not affect my life, because I am stronger than that.  Love is stronger than that.

So please, take a moment to think about the kids that are being abused or neglected.  Take a step toward stopping it.  It doesn't matter if you make a phone call to child protective services if you see a mom hitting her kid in the store, if you donate towards a woman's shelter, if you call the police if you hear screaming next door.  Do something.  Because you never know how much it would mean to a child to know that their voice is being heard.