My little guy is one of my favorite people in this world. But, I'm pretty sure that he's a little bit crazy. Oh, and really weird. He's almost three, and for some reason this has been one of the goofiest times ever. I've spent time with kids of all ages (between my siblings, there's 12 nieces and nephews, ranging from 8 months to 16 years) but for some reason 3 seems to be the most quizzical, confusing, frustrating, and fun age I've encountered.
Here is (my version of) a morning in the mind of a three year old.
3:45am Holy Cow! What is the matter with these people? I am THIRSTY. Where's my milk? Maybe I should scream just a little bit until Momma comes running to bring it to me. Oh crap, she's carrying that crying baby again. I swear that kid gets all the attention. I'm gonna tell Momma that I want to rock, just so she has to put Sissy down. It's not fair! Oh, there's my milk.
3:55am All done. Here's my milk, Momma. Why are you sleeping again? I'm finished with my milk! Oh, I'll just whack Daddy on the head with it, that usually works.
6:00am Dangit! That thing is crying again. Now she woke me up. I'm too sleepy to walk. Better cry until Momma comes and gets me.
6:03am Put me down, Momma! I'm big! I don't need to be carried like a baby! Don't forget my blankie.
6:05am Uh oh. "Momma, potty!" Grrr why are these jammie pants so hard to take off?
6:06am "Yay, Sammy!" I did it! I don't want to flush. The floor is cold.
6:10am Clothes? Uhh, no. I don't want to get dressed! I want to play with my baby sister. I love her, she's laughing, she wants me to play with her. "No pants! No shirt! No socks!" Oh, a shirt like Daddy's? OK I'll wear that, but no socks!
6:15am Wow, how did Momma do that? I was just watching my music show and now I have clothes on. How did that happen? "NO SHOES!!"
6:20am "NO SHOES MOMMA!" I don't want to go to playcare. I'm gonna stay home today. Yeah, you can get Sissy dressed - she can go. I'm staying home with Daddy.
6:25am "Banana?" Momma, banana. "Please?" Heh heh, "please" always gets her. I'll have to remember that word for when I get big.
6:45am Why is Sissy in the floor, Momma? I wanna ride my scooter but Sissy's in the way. I'll run her over. "No, Sissy, don't cry." Ok, I'll cry too, that way I don't get in trouble. Crap! Daddy saw me try to run her over. Better kiss her head and say sorry. Momma, Sissy's crying!
7:00am See, she stopped crying. I didn't hurt her.
7:05am Momma, why is the bathroom door shut? I might need in there. What are you doing? You're taking forever in there! Momma, open the door. I'm peeking under the door, Momma. Let me in!
7:07am No, close the door. I don't need to potty.
7:15am "Sammy shoes?" I want to go to playcare. Where's my jacket? Momma, you're not dressed yet! You shouldn't have spent so much time getting Sissy ready, I want to go now! I'll help. Here's your shoes, Momma.
7:17am You're still not ready, Momma? Daddy is. Let him hold the baby, you get dressed. We have to go. NOW!
7:20am Why aren't we leaving yet?
7:24am "Momma, potty!" Shoes off. Socks off. Pants off. Big boy car underwear off. Now I can potty.
7:25am "NO PANTS!" I want to run around naked. It's not cold. I don't want to go to playcare. I want to play in my room. There's cars in there. VROOOM!
7:27am She got the pants on me, but I'm not gonna let her put my socks back on. I hate those things. I'll kick her. She always gives up when I kick at her. Uh oh, there go Momma's glasses.
7:32am Yup, she gave up. Too many kicks and screams and running around. I win!
7:33am Oh man, she called in backup. Daddy just told me to sit down. I better listen. He's my buddy, can't make him mad. Socks on. Shoes on. Jacket on.
7:40am Sissy's in her carseat. I need to rock her. If I don't, she'll start crying. Here's some toys Sissy. I'm gonna kiss your head. Blankie? Here ya go. Here's your paci, too. Can we go now?
7:45am YAY! Red truck, white car, blue car, big truck, school bus... I love to name all the cars I see out the window. We're going, we're going... I love the car!
7:50am Playcare. Why do they keep telling me that it's called daycare? I play here. It's playcare. Sometimes I swear these people are silly. They don't know what they're talking about. Hurry up, Momma! Get Sissy out! I want to go in!
7:55am Bye, Momma. I play now. Bye, See ya later!
6:03am Put me down, Momma! I'm big! I don't need to be carried like a baby! Don't forget my blankie.
6:05am Uh oh. "Momma, potty!" Grrr why are these jammie pants so hard to take off?
6:06am "Yay, Sammy!" I did it! I don't want to flush. The floor is cold.
6:10am Clothes? Uhh, no. I don't want to get dressed! I want to play with my baby sister. I love her, she's laughing, she wants me to play with her. "No pants! No shirt! No socks!" Oh, a shirt like Daddy's? OK I'll wear that, but no socks!
6:15am Wow, how did Momma do that? I was just watching my music show and now I have clothes on. How did that happen? "NO SHOES!!"
6:20am "NO SHOES MOMMA!" I don't want to go to playcare. I'm gonna stay home today. Yeah, you can get Sissy dressed - she can go. I'm staying home with Daddy.
6:25am "Banana?" Momma, banana. "Please?" Heh heh, "please" always gets her. I'll have to remember that word for when I get big.
6:45am Why is Sissy in the floor, Momma? I wanna ride my scooter but Sissy's in the way. I'll run her over. "No, Sissy, don't cry." Ok, I'll cry too, that way I don't get in trouble. Crap! Daddy saw me try to run her over. Better kiss her head and say sorry. Momma, Sissy's crying!
7:00am See, she stopped crying. I didn't hurt her.
7:05am Momma, why is the bathroom door shut? I might need in there. What are you doing? You're taking forever in there! Momma, open the door. I'm peeking under the door, Momma. Let me in!
7:07am No, close the door. I don't need to potty.
7:15am "Sammy shoes?" I want to go to playcare. Where's my jacket? Momma, you're not dressed yet! You shouldn't have spent so much time getting Sissy ready, I want to go now! I'll help. Here's your shoes, Momma.
7:17am You're still not ready, Momma? Daddy is. Let him hold the baby, you get dressed. We have to go. NOW!
7:20am Why aren't we leaving yet?
7:24am "Momma, potty!" Shoes off. Socks off. Pants off. Big boy car underwear off. Now I can potty.
7:25am "NO PANTS!" I want to run around naked. It's not cold. I don't want to go to playcare. I want to play in my room. There's cars in there. VROOOM!
7:27am She got the pants on me, but I'm not gonna let her put my socks back on. I hate those things. I'll kick her. She always gives up when I kick at her. Uh oh, there go Momma's glasses.
7:32am Yup, she gave up. Too many kicks and screams and running around. I win!
7:33am Oh man, she called in backup. Daddy just told me to sit down. I better listen. He's my buddy, can't make him mad. Socks on. Shoes on. Jacket on.
7:40am Sissy's in her carseat. I need to rock her. If I don't, she'll start crying. Here's some toys Sissy. I'm gonna kiss your head. Blankie? Here ya go. Here's your paci, too. Can we go now?
7:45am YAY! Red truck, white car, blue car, big truck, school bus... I love to name all the cars I see out the window. We're going, we're going... I love the car!
7:50am Playcare. Why do they keep telling me that it's called daycare? I play here. It's playcare. Sometimes I swear these people are silly. They don't know what they're talking about. Hurry up, Momma! Get Sissy out! I want to go in!
7:55am Bye, Momma. I play now. Bye, See ya later!
Lol this is so cute! I have a nephew who turned 3 a couple months ago and he has an 8 month old baby sister and this sounds so much like the two of them.
ReplyDeleteAlthough a lot of people think the two's and three's are "terrible" I absolutely love those ages because they are so lovable, funny and spontaneous!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe your morning starts so early. I never had that with my kids, they picked a much more reasonable time!
ReplyDelete