SAHM: Not a Glamorous Life

Do you ever feel like you aren't in control of your life anymore?  That your kids dictate your every move, be it the toddler asking for "more" of something or the new baby deciding that you aren't going to sleep until 2am?

Other parents (namely my mom) will say how rewarding motherhood is, that nothing beats the joy of spending time with your babies.  And then I realize - my mom wasn't a stay-at-home-momma.  I grew up with babysitters and family watching me while she worked.  She never had to spend every waking moment with her 4 kids.

Note to self: it gets overwhelming.  There will be days when you want to lock yourself in your bedroom and ignore the crying and the tantrums and the huge mess.  There will be days when you stay so busy that midnight rolls around and you realize you didn't even manage to take a shower.  When you run to the store to get milk in your pajama pants without brushing your hair because you have a 5 minute window where your visiting sister will sit with the kids so you can run to the convenience store 2 blocks away.



I rarely leave my house without another adult, because Sammy isn't big enough to walk without holding someone's hand and well, Kaya can't even hold her head up on her own yet so car seat or cradle hold for her still...

I made a vow to live in the moment, to enjoy all the little things, but it really isn't as easy as it sounds.  I try to spend special time with each one of my kids and you know, it is rewarding... I get sweet smiles from Kaya and hugs and kisses from Sammy - but it doesn't last.  5 minutes later when she's screaming with a bellyache and he's kicking me in the shins out of jealousy.

Kids age you.  This picture was from a year ago:

 With only one kid, I still had that SuperMom feeling, that I could do anything... This is how I look with two kids, no sleep and a lot of stress during the day:

But you know what, it is worth it.  One day Kaya will start sleeping through the night, Sammy will get through the tantrum phase, I wont have to do my homework at 2am just to have a minute to concentrate, and things will be easier.

Just gotta take it one day at a time.