Being a new parent is the hardest thing you’ll ever do in your life and in the months before your new arrival, you will have done a ridiculous amount of research. Piles of baby books all over the house, regular prenatal classes and an endless amount of advice from friends and family members. When it finally comes time to give birth, you probably think that you know everything there is to know about having a baby, but you’re wrong. There are some things that you just can’t learn from books and you’re likely to have a lot of surprises along the way. Even when you’re getting advice from people that have done it all before, every baby is different and there are some things that they just don’t tell you about being a first-time parent.
Breastfeeding Can Be Horrible
Everybody tells you about how magical it is the first time you breastfeed your baby, and all of the research points to how good it is for their health. For a lot of new mothers, it’s one of the biggest milestones they’re looking forward to. What nobody tells you is that it isn’t always as great as you think it’s going to be. People will probably tell you that it might hurt a bit but that’s underplaying it. For some mothers, breastfeeding can cause terrible pain and it can take months before you get used to it and don’t dread having to go through it again. Your family and friends are probably just trying to avoid scaring you by leaving this information out but if you’re expecting, be aware that you might be in for a rough ride when you’re breastfeeding.
Formula Is OK Sometimes
While breastfeeding is the best thing for your baby and you should do it as much as possible, formula isn’t as bad as people sometimes make out. You hear a lot of people talk about formula as if anybody that gives it to their child is a bad mother. But it still has the nutrients that they need and sometimes, it’s just more convenient. If you’re going out somewhere and you’re struggling to pump enough breast milk, it’s not the end of the world if you give them a bottle of formula instead sometimes.
For some babies, especially premature ones, formula is actually recommended by doctors. There are some things that they’re lacking and they can get an extra boost from formula which contains some things that they can’t get as much of from breast milk alone. Don’t listen to the judgments of others, just ask for the advice of your doctors instead.
Baby’s Hair Does Some Weird Stuff
It’s often considered rare for baby’s to be born with a full head of hair but that’s not true. Quite a lot of babies are born with a full head of very dark hair. If that wasn’t enough of a shock, it can also start to fall out. While dad is fighting his own battle with baldness, you might have to deal with your baby losing hair as well. This can be incredibly scary for parents that don’t expect it to happen because they think that it means there’s a serious problem. If it happens, don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal. It happens because of fluctuation hormones in the baby’s body (be aware that this can also happen to mothers as well) and it’s not a sign of a wider health condition as most parents assume if they aren’t already aware of infant hair loss. However, if there are red patches or you notice any odd behavior in your baby, it’s worth getting them checked over by a doctor. The problem could also be caused by the way they’re sitting or sleeping, if they spend a lot of time resting their head in the same position, it can cause hair loss. Either way, you shouldn’t panic if they start going bald. When the hair starts growing back, be prepared for it to be a completely different color to the hair they lost, that’s completely normal as well.
You Might Not Feel An Instant Connection
You often hear people say that the first time they held their baby was the best moment of their lives. As soon as they touched them, they felt an overwhelming feeling of love for their child, like nothing they’ve ever felt before. It happens that way for some people, but don’t worry if it doesn’t happen for you. A lot of parents don’t get this sudden rush of feelings and they start to worry. They think that they must be some kind of monster that doesn’t love their own child but that’s not the case. Give it a week or two and you’ll feel that connection, it just takes a little longer for some people. This is especially true if you’re suffering from postnatal depression.
The Pain Isn’t Over Once The Baby Is Born
No doubt you’ve heard a lot about just how painful childbirth is going to be but if you think that you’re off the hook once the baby is born, you might be wrong. People don’t talk about after pains that often but they affect the majority of mothers. Your doctors should let you know about this before you leave the hospital but it’s good to prepare yourself for it beforehand. When you’re pregnant, your uterus has grown a huge amount to make room for a baby and in the days following the birth, it needs to return to its normal size. That process can cause pains very similar to contractions. If you aren’t prepared for it, you could end up thinking that something is seriously but don’t worry, it’s completely normal. It should last two or three days, sometimes longer. If you’re still experiencing pain weeks after the birth, then you should get it checked out.
Babies Are Noisy Sleepers
If you didn’t already know you’ll be spending most of the night awake, trying to soothe a crying baby, you’re in for a huge shock. Chances are, you know all about that aspect of raising a new baby, but most people assume that once they are finally asleep, they’ll be quiet as a mouse. In reality, babies are actually very noisy sleepers a lot of the time and they tend to grunt and make other sounds quite a lot. For parents that aren’t expecting that, it can be a worry because it could sound like they’re having trouble breathing. The good news is, they’re absolutely fine and those noises are just normal baby sleeping sounds, the bad news is, you won’t get as much peace and quiet when they’re sleeping as you thought you might.
Babies Sleep Well For The First Day
When you picture that first day you’re probably imagining getting home from the hospital with a screaming baby and spending the next few hours trying to get them to sleep so you can rest. You are going to be doing all that, but not usually for the first day. Most babies tend to sleep quite well in the first 24 hours so you should take the opportunity to sleep as well. It’s tempting to invite family around to see the new arrival but you might be missing out on your only chance of a good night's sleep in weeks if you do that. On the first day, get home and get as much sleep as possible because, after that, you’re going to struggle.
Books Go Out Of The Window When The Baby Arrives
When you were doing all of your initial research you probably bought a load of books to read once the baby is born. The most common ones that never get read are books about how to get your baby to sleep properly. The first thing to consider is whether you’re actually going to be bothered to read a long book when you haven’t slept properly in days, even if it could help. It’s also worth knowing that half the time, that stuff is never going to work anyway and it could just make you feel worse. Every baby is different and they all have their own sleeping patterns. You’ll find that you’re far more successful if you just try lots of different things and find what works for you, instead of trying to read a book full of advice that might not even apply. The books do have some useful information but a lot of that theory just isn’t applicable when you’re dealing with a real-life baby.
Everything Will Be Ruined
You’re probably expecting a lot of dirty diapers and some sick, but most parents aren’t prepared for the sheer scale of it. You’ll be surprised how something so small can produce that amount of sick. And babies aren’t conscientious about where they do it either. They’ll throw up when and where they feel like it, and you can bet that a lot of it is going to go on furniture, carpets, and pretty much anything else nice you have in the house. It’s probably best to wait until they’re a bit older before spending any money on nice things.
No matter how much research you’ve done, you’ll never be completely prepared for the road ahead, but hopefully, this list will help you to avoid some of the bigger shocks of being a parent.
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