Things You Can't Do as a Mom

So you've had a baby.  Now you've entered that "Mommy" role, the one that doesn't come with a handbook of "What-to-do's."  But you can bet there's a whole list of what not to do now that you're a mom.

Things you can't do as a mom:

1.  Take a sick day.

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That's right.  Now that you're a mom, you can no longer enjoy the luxury of laying on the couch all day just because your nose has turned into a faucet and you're coughing up bits of lung.  No ma'am - someone has to get the little ones their snacks and change diapers and kiss boo-boos.  And if someone else in the house is sick too, well you're expected to take care of them.

2.  Go out.

Sure, you can leave the house to go get groceries. You may have to carry a crying baby through the entire store with you and tell your toddler "no" about a million times when he's trying to beg for Spongebob gummies.  But that's about the only luxury time you'll get to spend away from the house, because you can't afford a babysitter that is actually up to your standards and the family members that you trust to babysit for you are all suspiciously busy every single weekend.

3.  Use the bathroom by yourself.

Yup, even that one little moment of the day where you thought was completely private will now be invaded by little people wanting to watch.  And you'd almost rather them be in the bathroom with you anyway because then you know they're not killing each other or burning the house down.

4.  Finish a complete meal. 

It doesn't matter how much you really want those french fries or that last bite of pizza - one of your kids is going to want it more.  There's something appealing about mom's plate to kids - it doesn't matter if they have the same exact thing on their plate, they're going to want your's instead.  If by chance you are able to eat your own food, the baby will still have a melt-down or the toddler will have an accident that causes you to have to leave the table early.  By the time you are able to come back to your plate, the food will be so cold and inedible that you end up giving up and throwing it out.

5.  Watch a grown up show

You and your hubby are all cuddled up, thinking you'll finally get to turn something on T.V. that isn't animated now that the little ones are in bed.  You flip on Breaking Bad or a horror movie that you've been waiting for months to watch.  About ten minutes into the show, the toddler will come out crying wanting to snuggle so you have to flip the channel to keep from giving him nightmares.

6.  Deny your love for your children

No matter what happens, no matter how stressed out you are from lack of sleep and hunger pains - you can't ignore that intense love for these little people that you brought into the world that makes every bit worth it.