We've all done it: We'll be in the middle of cooking supper, washing dishes, talking on the phone, or any of the other stuff that as parents we see as crucial - and a little one will be desperately try to get our attention only for us to shake them off and say, "Not now," or "Gimme a minute!"
Their dejected little faces will turn away and they'll find something to occupy themselves in the hope that Momma will hurry and finish what she's doing so they can show her their new picture that took all day to make.
But then, Momma gets busy doing something else - changing the baby, cleaning the spilled milk, throwing the load of laundry into the dryer.... and gets aggravated when they try again to get a little attention.
Eventually, after repeated and failed attempts to get Momma to notice them, they'll stop. After all, children (and adults) learn best with positive/negative reinforcement - would you keep touching a stove if it burned you every time?
Stop. Right now, stop what you are doing and go spend some extra time with your little ones. Children need love. They need to know that they are special. They need to know that no matter how busy you are, you always have time for them.
Those dishes can wait. Kids have a short attention span. What they have to tell you, what is on their mind right then is important to them - and after 2-3 minutes, it gets pushed to the back of their minds. So take the time to listen. Even if all they want is to tell you the same thing you've heard 50 times in the last half-hour, why not make it 51? If they're excited about something, it's important to them. If you don't take the time to listen to their thoughts and see their "projects" - they will eventually give up and stop believing in themselves.
I don't know about you, but I want my little ones to grow up knowing that they are special, they are important, and what they say matters.
How do you make special time for your kids?
Their dejected little faces will turn away and they'll find something to occupy themselves in the hope that Momma will hurry and finish what she's doing so they can show her their new picture that took all day to make.
But then, Momma gets busy doing something else - changing the baby, cleaning the spilled milk, throwing the load of laundry into the dryer.... and gets aggravated when they try again to get a little attention.
Eventually, after repeated and failed attempts to get Momma to notice them, they'll stop. After all, children (and adults) learn best with positive/negative reinforcement - would you keep touching a stove if it burned you every time?
Stop. Right now, stop what you are doing and go spend some extra time with your little ones. Children need love. They need to know that they are special. They need to know that no matter how busy you are, you always have time for them.
Those dishes can wait. Kids have a short attention span. What they have to tell you, what is on their mind right then is important to them - and after 2-3 minutes, it gets pushed to the back of their minds. So take the time to listen. Even if all they want is to tell you the same thing you've heard 50 times in the last half-hour, why not make it 51? If they're excited about something, it's important to them. If you don't take the time to listen to their thoughts and see their "projects" - they will eventually give up and stop believing in themselves.
I don't know about you, but I want my little ones to grow up knowing that they are special, they are important, and what they say matters.
How do you make special time for your kids?
I am coming to you via the UBC and I have to say I am so happy I found your post...this one struck home for me today. I think this post applies to those of us that have teenagers and preteens too. They need attention the same as little ones and too often we find ourselves too busy to stop and listen. What a great way to start off my morning!
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked it! I had a wake-up call this morning when my toddler was trying to get my attention and I was busy changing his baby sister - I hurt his feelings and all he was trying to do was tell me that he put his coat on all by himself. I felt so bad, but let him know how proud I was of him. Moments like those...
Deletei try to have them in the kitchen with me where possible when i cook to talk, and while doing most of my other "mom" jobs :)
ReplyDeleteI just started doing this with my 3-year old. He will pull his little stool up to the counter and "help cook." :)
DeleteGreat Article, it works no matter the age :)
ReplyDeleteThis is a really great reminder. It is so easy to get caught up in what we are doing and not want to get distracted by little tugs on our clothes.
ReplyDeleteI try to remember this every time I am folding clothes in my room and my son comes in and asks if we can wrestle. I finish up whatever basket I am working on and put them away quickly and give him 5 minutes of wrestling and we all feel better.
ReplyDeletehow sweet! My little guy doesn't ask to wrestle, he just comes up and hits me and giggles. Boys are so fun
DeleteThis is a great post. I am ALWAYS busy but it's self-inflicted! I take on too much and then stress out when things don't get done. Great reminder.
ReplyDeleteThis post made me cry for two reasons: 1 - I am 7.5 months pregnant so I am a hormonal mess and 2 - I do this ALL THE TIME. I always say, "just wait a minute," or "hang on." I need to stop it. Nothing is more important than my kids and sometimes it takes a post like this to remind me. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteErin Knack (erinknack08@yahoo.com)
aw I'm sorry I made you cry! I've been kicking myself a lot lately for doing this - it seems like life tries to get in the way of parenting and the little ones are who suffer. It's my biggest goal this year (and for the rest of my time as a momma) to make sure I'm more available to my babies and that I don't put off spending time with them.
DeleteI struggle with this constantly as a preschool teacher trying to get things done when my 20 kids all have something super exciting to tell me. I try to stake out at least one special moment each day with each child and remind myself to slow down. It's so hard!
ReplyDeleteI seriously tip my hat to you - I have three (8 months, 3 years, and 7 years) and that keeps me busy enough. Teachers are like superheroes to me - it takes a special person to be around that many kids at once, especially with preschoolers!
DeleteI have a little one who is 10 months old. I do tell him to stay away because I am on my phone or computer. I try to include him, but sometimes he likes playing with the touch screens too much. I do try to put it down as fast as I can to spend time with him.
ReplyDeleteAnd our really special "mom and baby" time is when we go shopping. I actually forget I have a phone and we just walked, look at kinds of things, and of course, I always ask his opinion (he is very good taste). It is "our time" and I actually look forward to it. He likes to get out too. :-)
I have a little one who is 10 months old. I do tell him to stay away because I am on my phone or computer. I try to include him, but sometimes he likes playing with the touch screens too much. I do try to put it down as fast as I can to spend time with him.
ReplyDeleteAnd our really special "mom and baby" time is when we go shopping. I actually forget I have a phone and we just walked, look at kinds of things, and of course, I always ask his opinion (he is very good taste). It is "our time" and I actually look forward to it. He likes to get out too. :-)
I think we all need to learn this. I know I am very guilty....too guilty of doing this and being so busy but I then I feel bad and have to give extra time or go to the park, etc.
ReplyDelete