Starting next week, I will no longer be a stay-at-home momma. My little ones will be heading to daycare for the first time in their lives and I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself. I see the following scenario: Monday, I'll sob all day. Tuesday, I'll take a nap. Wednesday, I'll go look for a job. I have been with both of them every day since they were born. It's stressful, it's hectic, and there are days when I want to run away, but Sammy and Kaya are my babies and I seriously can't imagine not being the one to snuggle them before a nap or feed them or do all of the other momma duties.
I'm seriously having doubts about letting my little people walk into a room full of other kids and leaving them behind, with a simple wave and a "See ya later!" Matt doesn't understand, but I think this may be one of the hardest things I have ever done. Liberating, maybe. I have so many mixed emotions about it. I feel a strong sense of responsibility to them, like they need me and only me. I know that is ridiculous, especially with Kaya - as long as her needs are met, she will be fine. Sammy may have a bit of a harder time since Momma is the one that comforts him and understands everything.
Then, I feel guilty because I think in the back of my head what a relief it will be to have them somewhere safe and being taken care of where I can be someone other than Momma for a while. To be able to have another identity, without a whiney crying voice saying it over and over. I've mentioned a couple of times on here that I am going back to school but haven't really went into any depth - I am taking online classes through the local college's distance learning program, working toward becoming a substance abuse counselor. I just came across a job opening for a paraprofessional in the same field - if I am hired, I will be training alongside a professional in the addiction counseling field and learning, well, how to be a counselor. It is my dream job, and as I emailed my resume I couldn't help but to feel hopeful. I could have a career at the same time as I go through school, and come out able to get my certification and become an actual counselor. To be able to snag this job, or any related job, would be a dream come true, and also one that I am not able to do sitting at home with a baby and a toddler.
I'm hoping to do a series of posts as I go that will help other mommas hanging up their apron for a briefcase. Do you guys have any tips on how to make the transition from Stay-at-Home Momma to Working Momma any easier?
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Its never easy my suggestion carry photos. Also dropping of and waving bye..lol....never that easy. There will be clinging screaMing crying and fits with done days the kids doing it too ha jk, some days you will walk away crying. You'll cry in the parking lot and you'll second and triple guess yourself.
ReplyDeleteMen don't understand and never will. You have my phone number, myfb in box and whatever else. Talk top me if you need. I've done this a couple times. I'm trying to go to school so I get to go through this again. Remy goes to the special needs school and that if hard knowing he's 5 down the road and I can't have Remy snuggled but when you puck them up or they walk in the door the smiles hugs and sloppy kisses are the best!!
Its never easy my suggestion carry photos. Also dropping of and waving bye..lol....never that easy. There will be clinging screaMing crying and fits with done days the kids doing it too ha jk, some days you will walk away crying. You'll cry in the parking lot and you'll second and triple guess yourself.
ReplyDeleteMen don't understand and never will. You have my phone number, myfb in box and whatever else. Talk top me if you need. I've done this a couple times. I'm trying to go to school so I get to go through this again. Remy goes to the special needs school and that if hard knowing he's 5 down the road and I can't have Remy snuggled but when you puck them up or they walk in the door the smiles hugs and sloppy kisses are the best!!
It's not easy! But you can do it. And they will love every minute of it there once they realize that they are safe and loved. They'll make friends and then you'll have the day when they run off to their rooms leaving you in the dust. Good luck though and I wish not just them a good day but that the day is an easy transition for you.
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